Favorite housing euphemisms

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 06/19/2016 at 00:32 • Filed to: Houses

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1. “Water closet” — the tiny room with a toilet where you poop, pee, and perhaps other activities

2. “Starting in the high 800s” - if you want zero options, we’ll still get over 900k out of you. If you want two things, you’re over a million.

3. “Modern gourmet kitchen” - fake granite and an economical backsplash style

4. “Great schools” - Every plat regardless of location insists they are in the zoning for the “good” schools. Well if every school is great, doesn’t that mean they’re all technically average?

5. “Great floor plan” - we took this limited square footage and chopped it into a bunch of little rooms so we could list it as a 5-bedroom house. Your home will be 90% hallway.

6. “Water view” — swamp, resovior, puddle of urine. You can see SOME liquid from at least one position.

7. “Only 30 miles from Seattle” — and a 90-minute commute twice a day.

smobgirl > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/19/2016 at 00:35

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There's an apartment complex near work that advertises waterfront units. It doesn't count if you created the water yourselves!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > smobgirl 06/19/2016 at 00:37

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I once lived a complex called “Lakeside.” It also had an incredibly small man-made lake...

TheHondaBro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/19/2016 at 00:38

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“Only 30 miles from Seattle” — and a 90-minute commute twice a day.

MountainRoadPhysicist > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/19/2016 at 00:45

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I miss when writing a place had a “view” meant something. This used to be what my backyard looked like before moving to Colorado Springs.

Bman76 (no it doesn't need a WS6 hood) M. Arch > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/19/2016 at 00:46

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I dislike granite so much, just do corian and let it be corian.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/19/2016 at 01:00

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I’ve always been amused by “half-bathroom” considering that the half that is missing is the bath.

Alfalfa > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/19/2016 at 02:13

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I just hate it when there are zero pictures of the yard/house exterior. I don’t care what an empty bedroom looks like, I just want to know if I can plausibly fit a shop in the yard and still have room for the furry and non-furry kid to play.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Alfalfa 06/19/2016 at 09:05

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You must have some very strange kids and or very strange pets

Alfalfa > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s 06/19/2016 at 09:08

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Because they like to play outside?

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Alfalfa 06/19/2016 at 09:24

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Furry and non furry.... Oh nevermind